i want to say

there have been so many times i wanted to write times that my mind has crafted a delicate emotion into a blanket of lace or a well-soiled thought into a perforated canvas but then it passes and it becomes lost in the obligations of today and the wishes of tomorrow and i have so much to say yet i have nothing to say and i don't want to make it about me because i have realized that life is not about me even in the ways that i thought it should be but i am so damn tired and overwhelmed and stuffed full with stifled tears and unknowns and hopes that may not materialize in this life that i can't even express something simple it seems and i can't make anything seem worthwhile but i want to write something anything at all so i've decided that i could at least write this and this is all i can do. right now.