A Soundtrack

I was given some iTunes money for Christmas--for those who love me know me well--and I just spent the majority of it buying songs of my childhood soundtrack. This includes but is not limited to several jams by Tevin Campbell, before he grew up and his voice changed, and "I Wanna Sex You Up" by the oh-so-eclectic Color Me Badd [to think I used to sing those words and honestly had NO clue what they meant...]. I can't remember what I just read this afternoon, but I still know every word of these beautiful bits of lyrical poetry.

Playing right now, a true favorite:
"Lil' Brother" by Tevin Campbell

My sister was the girl part, and I was the guy Tevin part, and we would sing the whole song, while my poor parents had to watch. We had microphones and made motions for the "I'll give you my French fry..." part. Sheer awesomeness, it was.

We had "dance parties" where we'd blast music like Taylor Dayne or Tevin, and we'd walk and dance around the Oriental rugs, lip-synching our hearts out. We each had our favorite song on each album. My Dad loved "Strawberry Letter 23" and I was into "One Song" off of T.E.V.I.N. I almost bought the song he did for the A Goofy Movie soundtrack, but it's an 'Album Only,' blast it. So great, so great.

I sometimes have this fear that my mind can only hold so much, so many memories, but then, innocent and easy times come back to me, like Sister and my sing-along nights, and the fact that I believed I had lost those things forever, that they had sailed away, makes the moments when they surface seem even the more precious.

My heart gets heavy reflecting on those meaningless memories- middle school dances, summers playing Shark in the 5-ft pool-they seem to hit the largest strings.

And it's moments like the past that make the present bittersweet. Things do keep going, the world doesn't stop, for anybody. We grow old, we move away, but parts of us, shiny shards of the person I used to be, remain in that past, eyes closed tight, hands clenched, belting out that long note at the end of the song, in the company of those who love me most.